• kitlo
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  • Registered: 2010-03-07
  • Posts: 2

Topic: I am longing for the intimacy. Classic issue..

Hello there.

I am introverted guy. I met a girl during travels, we hit it off very well and became intimate on several occasions. I was/am single; she was married (but seeking divorce).

We still keep in touch via email/chat. We both claim to have lingering feelings for each other, but she wants this "relationship" to fizzle out. She claims it wont work out in the long term; and I completely agree.

* But I cant let go... I yearn for that intimacy again (and not in a sexual manner).
* She thinks I am in love (am I?). I wouldn't know; my previous sexual encounters were with prostitutes (I was young and stupid).
* We still converse via email and chat, but its painful for me - I only pretend to be "normal".
* What does a girl really feel/think when she says "lets be friends" AFTER sharing deep intimacy? Am I being a fool? Was I used?
* We are similar minded in many aspects, but I dont think I love her. But then why do I yearn for intimacy with her?

Any guidance would be appreciated.

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  • Registered: 2005-12-07
  • Posts: 206

Re: I am longing for the intimacy. Classic issue..

Why do you say the relationship wont work out?  Unless you have tried it you will never know.  What I think the issue is - is you seem to be longing for the intimacy, not the girl.  If there is nothing that makes her especially stand out to you and make you miss HER than you need to move on and try to find someone else.  Intimacy is a closeness shared between two people.  This is not a once in a lifetime occurrence.  The reason you might have feelings for her and not other women you have been in a sexual relationship with is that you connected on a level other than sex (with prostitutes I would imagine the relationship was purely sexual).  Try and find a girl that you have a lot in common with and enjoy spending time with.  Hold off on having a physical relationship for a while to see how you get along outside of the bedroom.  That way you will have something to build off of and can experience intimacy in every meaning of the word.

  • kitlo
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  • Registered: 2010-03-07
  • Posts: 2

Re: I am longing for the intimacy. Classic issue..

Thanks, that was useful advice. Yes, I've realised that I need to move on... but, I have never been good at "seeking out". Oh well, thats another topic in itself.