Married for almost 10 years. My Husband is/was the center of my life. I never enjoyed sex before him, never wanted an active sex life before him, all related to abuse issues in childhood. But he was my God send. He made me feel things I never thought possible, made me crave things I had never had a taste for before. We had a great marriage, wonderful sex life and then WAM! He took a job overseas, was only home one week every three months and he had an affair. I know he made a mistake, I know he is sorry, I know he is doing everything to make up for his actions. We are almost a year into the healing process and I want so much to feel the comfort I once did. I still crave him every second of every day, more than ever actually since I came so close to losing him. I want him all the time, he on the other hand is a working man, deals with a stressful job and struggles to meet my needs. I torture myself with thoughts of him only performing out of a sence of duty. I torture myself with thoughts of not being what he wants, why else would he have tried someone new? I want to be comfortable again but wonder if it will ever happen. How can I know he has a REAL desire for me? How can get my self esteem back, my confidance, not doubt myself constantly?