I don’t know why I am so lonely, I was never like this before, but now all I can think of is getting a boyfriend and the scary thing is that I don’t want anything less than perfect, but somehow I know that I can never find the perfection that I am looking for. I think that this is all started when I started reading twilight, I mean the book is amazing really is and that is why I am so sad because in the book she meets this perfect guy that she later falls in love with and I am so scared that I will never have that. I mean I know that I should keep my head up high and smile, but its getting harder and harder. None of the guys that I dated were the ones that I was looking for, I don’t know what I keep liking guys and then looking for flaws in them and because of those flaws I stop liking them. Heck I know that no one is perfect yet I keep looking for flaws. I admire people who can find love so easily who can meet people and fall in love with them, I want that so badly, and I think I am going to go insane if I don’t make a change in my life right now, because I am so sick of being upset all the time and angry, I don’t know if it really is depression or not but its killing me. I used to not be like this; ever I don’t know what changed. Where ever I go I always look for cute guys, its become a habit, a lot of people say that you will find what you are looking for ones you stop looking, well I try but it doesn’t work, its like its embedded in me, look for a guy all the time and I don’t know how to change that. Next quarter should be better, even though I say that all the time and not always works. I don’t know what to do, I mean I go to clubs I try to meet new people but some how they end up not being good enough. I know that I might have high standards but I truly cannot help it. I don’t know what to do.  I really don’t. I need help.