• From: Massachusetts
  • Registered: 2008-05-09
  • Posts: 1

Topic: Taking a break?

My boyfriend and I have been together for two years, we were best friends for two years before that so there are a lot of strings attached. He is currently trying to pursue a career in professional dirtbike riding, and he is succeeding. We are currently on a break because of my unpredictability in dealing with the tribulations of his career. This past weekend I blew up and said that I could not deal with it anymore and upon arriving home I realized that I made a huge mistake and called him back begging him to forgive me. When he answered I did not get the forgiveness I had expected, he said that he wanted to take a break to analyze the relationship.  I have done this to him three times within the past three months. I can understand that it is extremely stressful on his career to have to think about our problems when hes really just trying to focus on racing. Would I really be able to deal with the amount of time he was not spending with me? Is it just hurting me more to be with him than for the amount that it would hurt to end it? I know that he truly cares about me, in the past months he has only been away more after he was gone all winter in Florida. I dealt with that fine, why am I suddenly now getting so jealous of his career? I need to analyze in this time if I can make that commitment and if I love him enough to wait it out, even though it would be years before anything slowed down. He is succeeding and this has been his life long goal. I was aware of this when we started to date. I know that I love him and now I really need to think about this over the break, can I deal with this and make the sacrifices neccessary? That is if he even decides that he wants to give me another shot. My gut tells me not to let him go, and that we will get through this but I do not want to tell him I can do it and come to realize two months later that I can't. We have a white water rafting trip planned in two weeks, and I know that he is really looking forward to it. My question is should we figure out where the relationship stands before we go on the trip or after? I don't want to go and have a bad time knowing that he might already know he doesnt want to be with me anymore, but I don't want to pressure him into making this serious decision quickly. Any input?

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  • abby2
  • Love Flunky
  • Offline
  • Registered: 2008-05-26
  • Posts: 9

Re: Taking a break?

It sounds like you can't deal with his career path as you said expressed your unpredictability in dealing with the tribulations of his career.  In "realizing your huge mistake" you were feeling the potential loss of your connection to him. 

His career path is not going to change.  Your feelings towards his job are not going to change.  You love him and you feel comfortable being with him.  You feel safe in knowing him.  I highly doubt he will be getting a desk job anytime soon. 

You have to decide what you are okay with and what you won't put up with.  You have to decide which items in life you will make compromises on, and stick with all of it.  Once you have searched your soul, you can answer the question of whether you two should go white water rafting together.