• Registered: 2009-06-24
  • Posts: 1

Topic: PLEASE HELP!!!! I love my husband but.....

Okay, I'm new here and in desperate need of some advice so here goes.   My husband and I have been married for 3 years, he is truly my best friend.  He has a temper, no he has never hit me or anything but he tends to take things out on me.  Okay for instance, this morning he was under stress and began taking it out on me and he ended up smashing our printer, flat screen tv, cds and movies.  As a wife I have stood by him through a LOT OF TOUGH TIMES(baby mama, child support, false accusations, his mother's continued illness who also by the way is living with us) and I don't feel I deserve this treatment, but I love him dearly.  Please help, I'm afraid to go home and I'm afraid of what will happen to my marriage if I don't go home.

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  • Registered: 2009-07-02
  • Posts: 4

Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! I love my husband but.....

I've been in that type of relationship before.  Not married but dated a guy for 8 years.  He was actually diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder. 
He would do the same exact thing.  Take is anger out at me.  He smashed the windsheild of my car, broke cd's, and I could go on. He always blamed it on his bi-polar, and that was always my excuse in my head.  I was in the same boat as you,  I loved him dearly. 
Than one day he decided to throw me on the bed and started to strangle me and than slapped me across my face.  For what??  I really can't remember and that was about 4 years ago and I haven't been with him since than. 
Sometimes it takes something like that to wake you up....but I sure wished I would have left him a long time before that.   Honestly I was too afraid to break up with him, I didn't know what he would do to me.  Thats why when I broke up with him, I had to do it over the phone and get a restraining order against him so he wouldn't try to hurt me. 
The anger and temper doesn't ever go away.  The hurt in your mind and heart never stops.  You have to take action if you want to stop feeling this way.  Maybe suggest counseling for his temper.......I'm not telling you to leave him, but something needs to be done.

Last edited by Schmeeba (2009-07-06 5:59PM)

  • Registered: 2009-07-20
  • Posts: 1

Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! I love my husband but.....

PLEASE HELP!!!!! I love my husband dearly....BUT.... I don't no what to do, he keeps talking about his ex's and get's mad at me if I don't talk about mine. I feel that what has happened in the past should stay in the past. But for some reason or another he dosen't want to let his go and move on to the furture with me. When I tell him I don't want to talk about mine he will get mad at me and stay mad for several days. What should I do to resolve this? CAN ANY ONE HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!! I don't want to lose my husband we have only been married 10 months now.....PLEASE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! HELP!! HELP!!

  • Registered: 2009-06-03
  • Posts: 17

Re: PLEASE HELP!!!! I love my husband but.....

Flossie: It is so sad to hear that such a loving woman has a man with so much hate in his heart.  Everything that has gone wrong in his life is being take nout on you.  You should never tell a man like him about your past relationships.  I fact, I don't ever recommend telling men about your past relationships.  It creates mental images of you having sex with other men and jealousy on a level that is way beiyond what you have already experienced. It is none of his business who you have had sex with in the past.  It will only hurt him more to know.  You need to find a way to get your husband to seek siome kind of counseling to help him to realize that you love him now.  The few past relationships you have had are not on your mind.  Every time he brings them up, it will just remind you of them.  They are not relavant to you.  He needs to know that you love him and only him now.

Confusedfemale:  Yo unned to find a way to get counseling for your husband.  he is on a slipery sl;ope to becomeing a dangerous person if he does not get help.  it has to be done by him alos.  he has to want to get help.   Please be careful and find a way to gnetly ask him to get some kind of anger management help.  If he doesn't want to do that...I guess you have only got a few options.  Stay with hime and live your life in fear of what he will do next or leave him and live a life freee of fear of your husband. 

Just by writing this, it shows you are a loving/caring person.  I hope it works out for you.