• Registered: 2009-06-09
  • Posts: 3

Topic: Crushing

Hi, I am a 30 year old woman and I've never had any serious relationships let alone a date.   I am a shy individual but I stay true to myself and have a good self-esteem.  Right now,  I am reading Dr. Phil's  "Love Smart" book but I have a couple of problems.  There is a section where you have to analyze your past relationships and I've never had any romantic relationships so would it work if I analyzed my relationships with my friends?  Also,  I have a major crush on this guy.  Actually, I really like this guy but I'm way too shy to ask him out and I'm also afraid that if I do I might scare him away.   I used to have crushes on guys I knew I would never want to have a relationship with but with this guy,  I would like to have a relationship and if he did like me, I probably could have a relationship with him.  The only problem is I don't know if he likes me and I'm not very good at reading people's body language especially those who I like.  I'm trying not to think about him but I can't stop thinking about him.  He's all I think about most of the time.  I need help.

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  • Registered: 2009-06-03
  • Posts: 17

Re: Crushing

You really need to look at yourself and determine who you are.  Part of the person people percieve you to be is created by the way you carry yourself.  Remember, you are still a young woman with lots of years to enjoy life with a special person. Smile and show the guys that you have a beautiful inner spirit.   Not many men are looking for a person who has low self esteem and is not too proud to flaunt her sorrow.  Be confident in who you are and find someone who fits into the lifestyle you are looking for. 

I recommend you start by looking for "nice guys" instead of the "pretty boys".  I will never understand why women waste the best years of their lives trying to find the perfect person (based on looks and money) and then find out that the guy is a jerk who loves himself more than he could ever love a woman. Do not base it on how much money they have right now.   Look for a man with a future who shares similar interests with you.

Tell him you are interested.  it's time to stop being shy.  Men are not mindreaders either. It's time for you to enjoy a life with a guy who will appreciate you for the beautiful person you are.  now get out there and be the beautiful, smiling, confident woman you can be.

Last edited by irishsam (2009-06-10 4:57PM)

  • Registered: 2009-06-09
  • Posts: 3

Re: Crushing

None of my friends know that I like this guy. Anyway he emailed me on a singles website and asked if I was interested in chatting so we emailed each other. Anyway I ended up going to the same church as him and now we have a lot of the same friends. This past weekend, I helped out with something at the church and he appeared alone one night. He's friends with one of my friends who was there. We don't talk that much. Anyway, a group of us usually go out for lunch on sundays and the past couple of sundays he has come and he always sits across from me. When we were inside, he was reading while wearing his sunglasses which I thought was a bit odd. Also, after he left, I was talking about how I couldn't stop thinking about finding a guy and his friend mentioned that the guy I like was on a singles website. I mentioned that I was also on the website. The friend said that the guy I like told him and his friends the night before that he was on this site. Anyway, I was wondering if there is a way to tell if he likes me. Also, what kinds of signs do guys show when they are interested in a girl? I mean shy guys as well as outgoing guys. What behaviors or habits take place? One guy told me that he could talk to any girl except the one he liked. Is this true? We don't email each other much anymore. I sometimes email him about certain events that are going on. If I do email him, he will reply.
So, I added this guy to my favourites on the website and he deleted me but I haven't added him again, yet.  Should I add him, or does he just not like me.  How can a guy tell if a girl likes him?

  • Registered: 2008-03-07
  • Posts: 43

Re: Crushing

There are things that people do when they are interested in a person. Like they will smile a lot more at you. Try to talk to you or sit near you. If they are interested you will be able to tell just follow your instincts. Most importantly you need to let him know how you feel too. I mean people can't read minds so you need to tell them things sometimes. You could benefit from just opening up more and stop worrying about whether he likes you or not. Maybe some friendly flirting tell him he looks really cute when he.....