• Registered: 2008-07-03
  • Posts: 1

Topic: time to move on??????

my husband of 2 years (we've been together 7 years) says he is through with the marriage every time an issue comes up. This past week we had a problem with money and he turned it into it being my fault. Now he won't talk to me, acts like I did something wrong and through text message said he was through with me and moving out next week. I'm really tired of being the one who keeps this marriage together. He has threatened this before and I find a way to patch things up but I'm fed up with the childish attitude. But this time he is being bitter and hurtful saying that life is going to be better without me, that I need him cuz without him I have nothing and that since I don't cook or make enough $ as him I'm "worthless." This not only made me really sad but also mad. Since he makes more money than me he has always walked around acting like I owe him something. And don't think I'm sitting at home watching Oprah all day. I just graduated 3 weeks ago from a great university and I'm looking to start my career. In the mean time I am still working at my jobS- yes I have two jobs which was the case even when I was in school and on top of that I'm 100% responsible for our apartment. We are both busting out butts trying to make a better life for ourselves but he continues to act like I'm doing nothing. This is beyond tiring and frustrating. Because of this I feel that since he wants to divorce maybe I should just give up trying. He does not support me (according to him I will NEVER get a good job with a history degree), he is disrespectful (calls me fat all the time & claims he will leave if I get too heavy), and constantly throws the money issue in my face (especially the car that he gave me as a gift!!). As I write this you may all be saying get out idiot! but I do love him (though I know a lot of this is force of habit) and I don't want him out of my life. Marriage is supposed to got through it's bad patches I tell myself but I'm tired of him creating the bad patches while I have to mend them. Is it time to give up???

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  • Registered: 2008-07-07
  • Posts: 17

Re: time to move on??????

Any relation ship is supposed to be a 2 way street.  One person should not be doing all the work to keep it alive.  Plus you should be given respect,  and threatening to leave is weak and manipulative.  Marriage is not a game.  If he loves you he needs to respect you.   If you love him be honest with him and call him on the threats if he loves you he wont leave, if he leaves your better off.  The most important thing is respect yourself and believe in yourself.  Dont let anyone walk on you you have to put yourself above others

  • Registered: 2008-06-22
  • Posts: 52

Re: time to move on??????

He needs to respect you.  Let him leave...he's got to learn he's wrong...sounds like this is the only way; but before he does you should financially get yourself to a good place if you can so you are not stuck with all the bills and all the debt.  If you have cc's in your name...and access to the joint acct...pay them off.  Get as much cash as you can and ask your mom to hold it for you.  Don't keep depositing your money in an acct he has access to.  Open a new account and move all of your money there.  If you have anything of value (jewelry) take it to your moms.  Get the locks changed and leave his crap out in the front yard or outside the apartment door.  If you can and you feel it's necessary...go to the dealer and get your car alarm rekeyed.  Don't allow him to have all the advantages...if he wants to leave...he can get out now!  The hell w/waiting a week...what kind of crap is that? If he's serious..then you need to get serious too.  Get tough..respect yourself.  You are not a whipping post.  One thing...he may get mad...but he will respect you in the end.  And he needs to learn a lesson.  Talking is not changing the situation...action will.

  • Registered: 2008-07-07
  • Posts: 17

Re: time to move on??????

dolphinGirl wrote:

He needs to respect you.  Let him leave...he's got to learn he's wrong...sounds like this is the only way; but before he does you should financially get yourself to a good place if you can so you are not stuck with all the bills and all the debt.  If you have cc's in your name...and access to the joint acct...pay them off.  Get as much cash as you can and ask your mom to hold it for you.  Don't keep depositing your money in an acct he has access to.  Open a new account and move all of your money there.  If you have anything of value (jewelry) take it to your moms.  Get the locks changed and leave his crap out in the front yard or outside the apartment door.  If you can and you feel it's necessary...go to the dealer and get your car alarm rekeyed.  Don't allow him to have all the advantages...if he wants to leave...he can get out now!  The hell w/waiting a week...what kind of crap is that? If he's serious..then you need to get serious too.  Get tough..respect yourself.  You are not a whipping post.  One thing...he may get mad...but he will respect you in the end.  And he needs to learn a lesson.  Talking is not changing the situation...action will.

I have to Agree 100%

  • Registered: 2008-11-25
  • Posts: 5

Re: time to move on??????

i may be a man but he should respect you. no woman should be be verbal abused. I don't know him but it sound like to me that he is Intimidated by your collage graduation. I give you credit your at lest doing you best to better you house hold. I wish my wife had your Motivation. You just keep moving forward with him or without him.

Last edited by lfenton32 (2008-11-25 11:27PM)