I then went on to ask him if he was happy, comfortable, and getting his needs met what was the problem with taking the relationship to another level.

All he said was that he was being STUPID. I have no clue to what this type of comment might mean.

Please help.

bf= babys daddy going to college but wants to quit parents pay for car and phone works fast food

friend= pays for everything he has has a good job(nice money and loves his job) no college

Even after a year-and-a-half after he first broke up with me, we have gotten back together about seven times just so that a couple months later he breaks my heart again. When he wants to get back together, he tells me how he doesn’t want to date anyone else and he wants to have a healthy relationship with me. Then he starts to distance himself after a couple of months, and then he says that he can’t commit to me, and that he was still so hurt over his breakup almost two years ago. Eight months ago, after we broke up about the seventh time (he still was texting me daily until January ‘10), I started dating another guy who treats me like a princess. My family and friends love him and I see a future with him. I have fallen in love with my new boyfriend, but the ex for the past seven months has been begging me to take him back. He’s showered me with flowers, candy, songs, and he’s been crying just wanting me to get back into a relationship with him. I’ve told him “no” that he’s hurt me countless times and that I can’t get back together only to have him breakup with me again later. He’s told me that he’s finally realized that I’m the “One,” and thinks that if we get back together in a year or two we could be married. This is a 40 year old man who has been engaged three times (all to different women), who has never been married or has even lived with another woman. Even after how much my ex has hurt me, I still think about him almost daily and I can’t get him out of my head. Now on facebook, through mutual friends, I see pictures of him and his new girlfriend he’s been dating since Jan ’10, and it makes me so angry to see him happy. I just want him to be alone since he can’t commit to anyone but himself. I know he’s no good, but I fell for him hard, and all I do is feel sad and angry about our past together. I just don’t understand why or how he could do this to me. How could he tell me that I was the “One” after a year-and-a half, and then all of a sudden meet some new girl he met on the Internet? I need some sound advice and guidance to help me heal.

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/2FPVP7B

I am introverted guy. I met a girl during travels, we hit it off very well and became intimate on several occasions. I was/am single; she was married (but seeking divorce).

We still keep in touch via email/chat. We both claim to have lingering feelings for each other, but she wants this "relationship" to fizzle out. She claims it wont work out in the long term; and I completely agree.

* But I cant let go... I yearn for that intimacy again (and not in a sexual manner).
* She thinks I am in love (am I?). I wouldn't know; my previous sexual encounters were with prostitutes (I was young and stupid).
* We still converse via email and chat, but its painful for me - I only pretend to be "normal".
* What does a girl really feel/think when she says "lets be friends" AFTER sharing deep intimacy? Am I being a fool? Was I used?
* We are similar minded in many aspects, but I dont think I love her. But then why do I yearn for intimacy with her?

Any guidance would be appreciated.

then he just starts acting odd, not talking as much, not saying I love you to me (which he would say 3 and 4 times a day EVERY day) later he finds out his dad has cancer and his father died within 2 weeks.

just yesterday he finally says I was right, that he loves me but is NOT IN LOVE w/ me anymore. He's telling me that he wants to get that love back for me but it has to be in his own time.

Im hurt and mad at him idk what to do

I guess my question is, is it normal for couples to stay together but fall in and out of love w/ each other? is that even healthy? is that normal?
any other advice/input would be helpful as well,

thanx

Well, I just recently(nov) found Diane's number in my husband's cell phone. I didn't say anything just deleted the number. Well in December I saw that she called again and also deleted it her number. This time I asked him about it. He stated that she called him because her brother comitted suicided and needed someone to talk to, then he dropped it. Didn't mention it again.  Just like it was nothing.

I thought about it, and it really bothered me, no hurt me. So one day when he called me at work again, I asked him about it, and told him that it hurt me very much. He acted innocent and said he was sorry. Then continued to say that she's nothing to look at. He would go there and talk to her, and sometimes get chicken feed when we were out(we have chickens). She would do all of the talking, etc. Well, I kind of let that sink in, but the thing is, he didn't talk about it anymore, or even bring it up.

Well, it's been bothering me again, since I don't know how she got his cell phone #, and this past weekend I brought it up. I asked how she got his number, and how would he feel if it was me? (Just last week, he lost his cell phone), well he said to me, good thing that I lost my cell phone now is it? I said, oh don't worry, her number wasn't on it. He then asked me if I deleted it, I said yes. Unfortunately we were in a public place, and I couldn't go into any detail. I asked him if he felt flattered by the attention, but I didn't get any answer. But just his actions, and his facial expressions, seem so strange to me. I don't know how to decribe it.

I also told him that we are talking about it face to face, since I'm not done with it. And I get no reaction at all, and no comment. Just stares.  It may be because of the public place.

I did mention in Dec. to him that this is form of infidelity and he didnt' seem to understand. I said it's emotional....Though this was on the phone. He can talk to me better when we talk on the phone. But he's working on that, since it shouldn't be like that.

He said that she's really nothing to look at.  I still feel hurt inside, and there's a trust factor issue. 

Does anyone know the bible's view on this?

He says it's been going on for maybe 3 years/5 years he said he can't remember. Then he said about 7 years, and he just gave her his cell #, cause "I give everyone my cell #"He says sometimes when she calls he doesn't always answer.

We did talk about it the other night, and he said that he really had no idea that it was wrong. Men are so stupid. 

He said he was sorry. Had no idea that it was a form of infidelity. I explained to him what constitutes it has infedility. (I had done research beforehand of course).

I told him that he needs to close that part of his life and the next time she calls either don't answer the phone, or answer it and tell her NOT to call anymore.  He also said that I'm right, that he should've told me in the begining and should've told me even when he went over there. I told him to put the shoe on the other foot and see how he would feel, he said he really didn't know.  I also asked him if I had to get tested, and he said "no".

We haven't talked about it since Sunday night.  I don't know how to tell him that it hurts still and I don't know how long it'll take to forgive him, or to trust him.  I'm usually a very forgiving person, but this is a little different.

Sorry this is so long, but I thought it needed some background.

He refuses to "give her up" as he says they have a history together.  They dated for five years from ages 16 to 21 when she went off to college and began screwing other guys.  She is now married and a mother of two young children.  She also became a born again christian.  She in fact sent him a bible at christmas which he never told me about.  I found it because I was snooping through his stuff. 

I knew something was up a few months back when around October I tried to log into his email just to check as I was still getting emails on his account.  He had changed the password and refused to tell me the password.  I demanded to see the emails and to know what on earth they are talking about for 3-4 hours a day.  He refuses to let me see the emails or tell me what they talk about.  He tells me he is not having an affair.  As far as I am concerned this is an affair an emotional one.  I told him there doesn't have to be sex in order for there to be an affair. 

What do I do with this guy?  He figures he can have the best of both worlds for now.  I want to call her and tell her whats going on.  Somehow I don't think she knows that he keeps it all secret or that maybe her husband doesn't know whats going on either.  Not sure what to do....

So... this past Valentine's day kinda changed everything for me. I didn't think we were going to see each other, so I called a cpl friends over for a single girls night. And towards the beginning of the night he told me he wanted to see me. So I told him I had ppl over, and he said if it were ok, he would join us. He sat there and cuddled me in front of my friends, and kissed me in front of them, for the first time. What guy who just wants a booty call does that??Especially with how shy he is, and how he says that he just doesn't fall in love. And sometimes now, I'll catch him just staring at me. And telling me he misses me. He never did that before.

So.. I think my mistake was that I told him that I was starting to have feelings for him, and that I didn't know if I could handle being in a casual only relationship, that eventually I would want more. He thanked me for my honesty and said that even though he had feelings for me, too, that we should slow down and not "hook up" any more, that we should just be platonic friends. Why would he tell me he had feelings for me, but then tell me we should basically ignore them?

We still talk... but its not every day. And when we see each other, its as if we never had that conversation. I think maybe if I didn't say anything, eventually he would drop his guard. But... most of my friends are telling me just to leave him... That I will never get him to open up to me. I went out on another date, and couldn't enjoy myself. I wanted my guy to be the one that I was out with. Part of me thinks I should leave him, cuz maybe I'll just be hurt, but part of me believes deep down that if I am not willing to be patient for him, then I don't deserve him. I really just wish I knew what he was thinking... My friends say that all he is doing is using me for sex... but if he isn't getting any and still wants to be around me and misses me... how could he be using me?

I asked him why he didn't want a relationship with me, and he said that I shouldn't assume that its a problem with me... what the hell does that mean?

Any advice would be appreciated.

how am i supposed to get closure from him?

did it not happen fast enough? did he not think i was ready? was he not ready? was he not wanting to? I have NEVER had a guy up and stop like this. HELP!!!